Bud Selig Sweeping A-Rod Under the Rug Through 2014

If you’re a fan of Alex Rodriguez or Johnny Manziel, today was not a good day for you to watch ESPN. I can’t imagine that venn diagram encompasses too many people. I don’t recall Texas fans be too infatuated with A-Rod after his stint with the Rangers and after Manziel has puke and rallied his way through the offseason his fans seem to fade outside the Lone Star state.

Bud Selig suspends A-rod

Well, yesterday Bud Selig did what A&M wished it could do with Manziel’s autograph controversy*, and swept A-Rod and fellow roiders Nelson Cruz, Evereth Cabrera, and more under the rug. The rest of the crew got off with a miniscule 50 game suspension, but Bud went after A-Rod with an iron fist and suspended him through the 2014 season. Poor A-Rod will have to survive on the $61 million guaranteed left on his contract.

Of course the Yankees activated A-Rod today and, in a true act of schadenfreude, batted him cleanup, and will continue to do so until A-Rod’s appeal process is over. At least White Sox fans gave him a heart booing upon his return.

*Drink every time a talking head calls it Autograph Gate.


Former Cardinal Chris Perez Has A Drug Problem

Current injured Cleveland Indian closer and former St. Louis Cardinal, Chris Perez is being investigated after a narcotic delivery to the Cleveland home he rents was intercepted by police.

According to the Cleveland Plains Dealer, Perez’s rental home was searched Tuesday night and a controlled delivery of marijuana was found. It’s possible that Perez is on the receiving end of some bad luck from some previous drug dealers that forgot to update their mailing address as police had been to the house several times before Perez had moved in, but that seems unlikely. (That’s some stellar investigative work right there.) Continue reading “Former Cardinal Chris Perez Has A Drug Problem”


BREAKING: Aroldis Chapman Eats 18 Pastries, Gives Up Two Bombs

Buckle up because we’re about to take a one-way trip to Scandal Town!

News out of Philadelphia today that everyone’s favorite Cuban defector, Aroldis Chapman, may have pulled a Babe Ruth and downed 18 pastries before serving up two of his own to the Phillies in the form of back-to-back homers, resulting in his second blown save of the season and a 2-3 loss for the Reds.

Phillies broadcaster/pastry connoisseur, Rickie Ricardo has the sticky details (get it, because pastries). Ricardo blew the lid off the PastryGate when he is said to have personally delivered 100 Cuban pastries to Chapman before Sunday’s game and then witnessing Chapman polish off 18 of them. Ricardo recalls the events in his own words.

“He couldn’t breathe!” said Ricardo. “I looked at my partner, I said, ‘He’s ripe for the taking today.'”

Scandal! Intrigue! Pastries!

We will keep you posted as this story continues to develop.



Goat Head Delivered To Wrigley Field, Slated to Bat Clean Up Tomorrow vs. Giants

Some enterprising Chicagoan dropped a goat’s head off at Wrigley Field for Cubs’ owner Tom Ricketts Wednesday afternoon. Apparently killing goats and delivering them to Wrigley Field has become the go-to curse breaker in Chicago, as just back in 2009 a dead goat was found hanging on the statue of Harry Caray. And also in 2007. All of this of course stems from the famous Curse of the Billy Goat. Legend has it that the owner of the Billy Goat Tavern cursed the Cubs to forever lose when he was asked to leave Wrigley Field because his pet goat’s odor was bothering the other fans. Goats have got to be pulling for the Cubs to win a World Series soon so they can get back to eating garbage without looking over their shoulder. Fun fact: As of this writing, Chris Davis of the Baltimore Orioles has 5 less RBIs than the entire Cubs team! So maybe the goats could feed off the level of play in Chicago.

Continue reading “Goat Head Delivered To Wrigley Field, Slated to Bat Clean Up Tomorrow vs. Giants”