NFL Picks Week Five

NFL Picks Week 5

It turns out the View From The Pine Unanimous Seal of Approval of DEATH! isn’t a 100% guarantee. Just like 75% so far this season as the Packers managed to take the series head to head lead against the Bears last Thursday.

Things got crazy in week 4. The Patriots lost at home. The Rams beat the Cowboys on the road. The Texans put up 57 with Deshaun Watson. And the Chiefs covered the spread and the over on points with a last second fumble recovery for a TD. And through it all Jay Cutler just didn’t give a shit.

Let’s see what week 5 has in store!

Game of the Week #1: Carolina Panthers @ Detroit Lions

Steve (6-10): Cam finally got into a groove last week and whipped the Pats defense. Keep it going for the sake of my fantasy team.

Pick: Carolina Panthers

Tim (8-8): Everyone is loving the Panthers after their upset of the Patriots, but the Pat’s defense is awful. Carolina’s other two wins were against Buffalo and San Francisco, so that 3-1 record is a bit inflated. Detroit is a Golden Tate foot away from being undefeated.

Pick: Detroit Lions

Jason (6-10): Cam Newton followed up his upset of the Patriots by being a jackass at a press conference. Meanwhile the Lions have been my sleeper team all year and would be 4-0 if not for a dumb rule. Sticking with Detroit.

Pick: Detroit Lions

David (8-8): Detroit has played tougher defenses than Carolina. The Panthers win against the Patriots is less impressive when you look at New England’s defensive stats. And with Cam in hot water with pretty much the entire female population this week, I’m going to say his head won’t be in it against the Lions.

Pick: Detroit Lions

Game of the Week #2: Green Bay Packers @ Dallas Cowboys

Steve (6-10): Seems like a toss up, so I’ll go with the home team.

Pick: Dallas Cowboys

Tim (8-8): Rematch of last year’s epic playoff game.* After a slow start, the Packers look to be back on track after last week’s thrashing of Mike Glennon and Da Bears. Things are looking grim for Dallas right now, with Eagles looking legit and an Elliot suspension looming.

*How did Jared Cook catch that?

Pick: Green Bay Packers

Jason (6-10): I can’t decide if the Packers are good or not while the Cowboys have slowly started to creep down into not good. Who loses to the Rams at home? Come on! Give me Aaron Rodgers any day.

Pick: Green Bay Packers

David (8-8): The Cowboys just lost to the Rams. The. Rams. Also did I mention they lost to the RAMS?!?!

Pick: Green Bay Packers

Lock of the Week

Steve (6-10): Kansas City Chiefs (-3.5) @ Houston Texans (+3.5)

I’ll take KC in this one. I don’t see Houston putting up another 57 against this defense.

Pick: Kansas City Chiefs

Tim (8-8): Arizona Cardinals (+6) @ Philadelphia Eagles (-6)

I’ll take the Eagles in the battle of the birds. The Cards are not a good team. But it was fun to see vintage Larry Fitzgerald in overtime last week.

Pick: Philadelphia Eagles

Jason (6-10): Arizona Cardinals (+6) @ Philadelphia Eagles (-6)

Arizona is not good. I’m not sure what happened to Bruce Arians. Did someone replace him with the bomb-tech from Die Hard?

Bruce Arians Die Hard With a Vengeance

Pick: Philadelphia Eagles

David (8-8): Jacksonville Jaguars (+9) @ Pittsburgh Steelers (-9)

Honestly, because its the only lopsided matchup of the week.

Pick: Pittsburgh Steelers

Upset of the Week

Steve (6-10): New England Patriots (-5) @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-5)

I’ll take Jameis to get the big win against the Pats terrible defense.

Pick: Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Tim (8-8): Baltimore Ravens (+4) @ Oakland Raiders (-4)

Derek Carr just can’t catch a break. He broke his leg in the second to last game last season, causing him to miss the playoffs. Then last week he suffers a broken back. Maybe he’ll have better luck when he becomes a Las Vegas Raider in a few years.

Pick: Baltimore Ravens

Jason (6-10): Tennessee Titans (-3) @ Miami Dolphins (+3)

With Mariota likely out or at least hampered by a hamstring injury, the Titans turn to Matt Cassel at QB. Their defense has been terrible against the pass. Cassel versus Cutler is a match made in derpy QB heaven. Someone get Gruden on this game.

Matt Cassel Hat Trouble

Pick: Miami Dolphins

David (8-8): Kansas City Chiefs (-3.5) @ Houston Texans (+3.5)

Go big or go home right? Deshaun Watson and the Texans’ offense has been pretty solid these last 2 weeks so might as well.

Pick: Kansas City Chiefs


Posted in



Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *